One More Day

Today i woke up thinking it was Sunday. I thought i had two more days of freedom. But i later found out, its Monday, i only have one more day. On Wednesday i start a new school. I'm terrified because im afraid im going to have the same problems as last year. Im determined not to. Im praying that im going to have friends, keep the ones i have, and be able to show people christ in me, and tell people about him. Im hoping that im going to have a good high school experience. Another problem i deal with at school, is being away from yag people. i feel like im only happy when im with them, so sometimes i push people away. Im going to try to keep an open mind and make a lot good friends.

Time of Doubt

When i was about 6 years old, i was saved. since that day that i excepted Jesus in my heart, i have felt incredible amounts of love and joy. There are many times in my life when i have strayed away from him, but once things get quit in my life again he always taps my on my shoulder and says, "hey, your supposed to be over here". And he always calls me back, forgiving every sin. This summer, i really did stray away. I didn't do anything bad, but i didn't do to much that pleases god. I didn't read my bible, and i didn't pray to much. I was just really busy which is no excuse. But then he called me back again. Then a few weeks ago, something happened. It was horrible, and i hated going through it. I started to doubt god and his existence. I could feel Satan tugging on my shoulder telling me to leave god behind completely. i started wondering how god could listen to every human on earth, and not thinking he could listen and love me. I started to think that maybe it was science that created the world, and everything on it. Thinking these things made me scared. Its a horrible having the feeling of relying on someone for your whole life and then them not being there. When all along he was. Every step of the way. I prayed about it, even though i had the thought in my head that i was praying to no one, and i kept reading the bible. I kept asking him to take the doubt away from me. then i did some research and read a couple things.

The earth: perfectly round in shape. If it was any closer to the sun humans would be able to survive. If it was any further from the sun, wed freeze.

Water: orderless,tasteless,colorless, and no human can survive without it!

The human brain...simultaneously processes an amazing amount of information. Your brain takes in all the colors and objects you see, the temperature around you, the pressure of your feet against the floor, the sounds around you, the dryness of your mouth, even the texture of your keyboard. Your brain holds and processes all your emotions, thoughts and memories. At the same time your brain keeps track of the ongoing functions of your body like your breathing pattern, eyelid movement, hunger and movement of the muscles in your hands.

The human brain processes more than a million messages a second.⁷ Your brain weighs the importance of all this data, filtering out the relatively unimportant. This screening function is what allows you to focus and operate effectively in your world. The brain functions differently than other organs. There is an intelligence to it, the ability to reason, to produce feelings, to dream and plan, to take action, and relate to other people.

The eye...can distinguish among seven million colors. It has automatic focusing and handles an astounding 1.5 million messages -- simultaneously.⁸ Evolution focuses on mutations and changes from and within existing organisms. Yet evolution alone does not fully explain the initial source of the eye or the brain -- the start of living organisms from nonliving matter.

http://www.everystudent.com/features/isthere.html

so here are a few things that helped me. I started going back to church, and i talked to my aunt, and prayed, and one night, as i was praying, i felt a big burst of comfort and joy inside me. My doubts started to go away from that night on. One thing that is amazing, when these things started popping into my head about god not being there, i walked outside, and there was the most beautiful rainbow i have ever seen. and in genesis, god says, “This is the sign of the covenant that I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all future generations: I have set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth." This was god letting me know that he was there, and i believe that rainbow was for me.

My doubts still do pop into my head every now and then, but theyre going away. i guess everyone has doubts about this in there life, but as my aunt told me, its god showing to us how strong our hearts are, and in the end, my faith will be stronger.